


The (Not-So) In-Between

by pied_pollo



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Adventures in Comaland, Bittersweet, Character Study, Episode: s15e10 And in the End, F/M, Introspection, Rated S for Spoilers, Scene Breakdown, Short, channeling my inner lemony snicket, graveyards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24337879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pied_pollo/pseuds/pied_pollo
Summary: A man and a woman are sitting on a park bench in a graveyard that doesn't really exist.
Relationships: Maeve Donovan/Spencer Reid
Comments: 11
Kudos: 37





	The (Not-So) In-Between

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote: _When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth._

The truth is that a man and a woman are sitting on a park bench in a graveyard that doesn't really exist.

The man is named Spencer. The woman is named Maeve.

If I told you both Spencer and Maeve were dead, I would be lying to you, because here they are, in the flesh, thinking and feeling and acting very much alive. But, if I told you both Spencer and Maeve were alive, that would be a lie as well, because Maeve has been dead for seven years and Spencer is currently bleeding out from his brain on the floor of his apartment.

This information is all very true, and all very improbable, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle would be quite proud.

Spencer and Maeve are very much aware of the complicated situation known as the In-Between. It’s a movie cliché in which the not-so-alive-but-not-exactly-dead-yet hero is faced with a spirit from his past in a very white setting. The spirit is usually clad in respectively ghostly colors such as white and gray. They speak solemnly about crossroads for a rough minute before booming in an authoritative tone: “Now, Hero, what will it be? Back to Earth?”

“Will I ever see you again?” Hero asks tearfully.

“I will always be with you,” the Spirit will reply with a comforting (albeit robotic) touch on the shoulder.

Then, the screen will fade to white, and Hero will go back to whatever battle it was that they were fighting. There's not a lot of suspense because you know what will happen--Hero will always choose Earth, because things are still building between him and Love Interest, and he needs to live long enough to take care of unfinished business with Villain that probably includes an anticlimactic monologue about never giving up. You are left unsurprised, but satisfied nonetheless.

With this information, it is safe to say what Spencer is experiencing is not the In-Between, because Maeve is not clad in ghostly colors, nor is she touching his shoulder. She is smiling and holding his hand, and Spencer is starting to doubt his role in the world, which is a very un-Hero-like thing to do indeed.

Maybe, Spencer thinks, this is the time to let go. Or is it?

“The world needs you to do what you love,” Maeve says simply. “Have you done that?”

Has he? Spencer is quite confused and quite unsure, which is something that doesn't happen often. "I don't know."

“Sure you do. What do you love?”

A pause.

When someone asks you what you love, you will most likely say, automatically, “My family. My friends. My cat. Pizza.” And later you will realize that--while all this is true--the list is actually a lot longer, and a lot more specific. When one is confronted by death, they are reminded of their life, so Spencer takes his life and stares at it as if it were a piece of artwork.

What does he love?

He loves the musty smell of an old bookshop. He loves the sound of rain against the window at night. He loves sunlight streaming in through the windows, suspending dust particles in the air. He loves the color purple and long words with deep meanings. He loves the gentle squeeze of his satchel on his shoulder, and steaming mugs of coffee with generous amounts of sugar. He loves the small moments that make your day a little bit better and your life a little more worthwhile, and it’s so strange how these seemingly unimportant moments gather to make something explosive, and it’s even stranger how quickly all these forgotten memories are resurfacing as if by

“Magic.”

Time slows. The moments hang in space, frozen, like photographs. Spencer flips through the album of his existence, and, like pulling cards from a deck, he produces images:

_Garcia’s laughter bouncing off buildings as Spencer told her_

“Ghost stories.”

(“Fiddling with your pen, like me,” Maeve adds. “What else?”)

_Morgan sitting by his bedside, the two of them sharing slippery cups of sweet_

“Jell-O.”

_JJ lets him bury his face into the crook of her neck when they hug, and her lotion smells like_

“Kumquats.”

_Spencer always asked his mom to read to him, even if he knew the book by heart, because he enjoyed her commentary and the way she was always_

“Teaching.”

_Rossi’s plethora of life lessons, reminding him that he’ll never stop_

“Learning.”

_Rainy days spent inside, keeping company with a large stack of_

“Books.”

_The feeling of making progress, getting close, and holding on to_

“Hope.” The list is settling into a sort of rhythm as it quiets; comforting and nostalgic. The spinning reel of memories winds down. The pictures flutter, then dissolve, leaving only snapshots and words:

_Some people’s hands just fit like puzzle pieces._

“Making connections.”

_Some people’s smiles make everything all right._

“Making a difference.”

_Maeve made him feel all right._

“You,” Spencer finishes. “I love you.”

Maeve lets out a breathy laugh. “That’s a lot to love.”

It really is.

Here’s the truth: There is a man and a woman sitting on a park bench in a graveyard that doesn’t really exist. The woman is named Maeve, and she is a ghost. The man is named Spencer, and he is not going to die just yet.

Spencer does not have unfinished business. He is not the hero needed to save the day. What Spencer has is a lot to love and a lot of people to share this love with. What Spencer has is little moments making something explosive. So despite everything, he chooses to stay, because despite everything, Spencer still believes in magic.

If the reader is at a crossroads, I can’t be of much assistance. Perhaps I can only relay what Maeve had advised Spencer: do what you love. And perhaps you, like Spencer, can think very carefully about what you love, and it will lead you to your decision. 

I am sure you will make the right choice.

**Author's Note:**

> “Let us come alive to the splendor that is all around us and see the beauty in ordinary things.” ~Thomas Merton


End file.
